I Turned 50….Nothing And Everything Changed

Is It All Downhill?

I’ve had many people over the last year saying things like enjoy your last year of your 40’s, it’s all downhill after that. People said things like that to me when I was turning 40 too. Like it was some type of magical switch that I have no control over.

The thing is it’s not true. I went to sleep at 49, I woke up and I was 50, and everything was exactly the same as the day before, except the number. Yes, of course in a decade I have aged. I’m supposed to. There’s more lines on my face. Gravity has done its part, and my hips and knees are not what they were when I was 20. I’m not going to live forever – I’m not supposed to. Harry Potter reference – imagine being over 600 years old like Nicolas Flamel! That makes me but a baby in that timeline.

There are other things that are not what I’d consider to be downhill. In 10-15 years, my health has improved – I’ve had all the tests and they show I am much healthier than I was in my 30’s. My mental health has improved. Social media shows me that! This is where social media can be useful – the memories. Recently, I’ve noticed many of my posts coming up from 15 years ago where I complained…a lot… about traffic, annoying people at work, things I considered to be stupid, the gut health issues I was having at the time with all the tests that seemed to get me nowhere.

Here I am now at 50, and things are very different. My gut health issues are a thing of the past thanks to natural medicine, I don’t complain about everything in my life anywhere near as often as I used to, I use time in traffic to listen to podcasts and audiobooks uninterrupted, my tolerance and grace for people is significantly better, and, well, I can’t complain about my workmates – I now don’t have any.

What’s changed?

How I live my life. I overhauled my diet and healed my gut – a number of times – until I figured out what worked for me, and this has changed over the years. I’ve started lifting weights – this is something I’d definitely encourage you to pick up earlier than I did.

I kept looking until I found out what I wanted to do with my work life, and then I went and did that. My friendship circles have mostly changed – I pay careful attention to how I feel when I spend time with different people, and I have moved on from those who drain my energy and make me feel bad. I have a core group of people that I’ve had most of my life, because they add to my life and my wellbeing.

I do things I enjoy every single day. I like Lego – so I build Lego. I like reading, so I do that. I like learning, so I do that. I face fears – and come out the other side of them. I heal and move on from hurtful things – they still happen but I don’t dwell and ruminate for months and years any more. I don’t forget – but I learn from them. I don’t clean fanatically at the expense of other parts of my life.

I removed a job and built a business. Could I be making more money in corporate? Absolutely – but at what cost? The old saying of do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life is absolutely true in my experience. I don’t dread Mondays any more. I’m not stressed and snappy most of the time. I feel in control of my life. I’m not advocating starting a business, it’s not for everyone. I am advocating for doing something you enjoy, and keep looking for it until you find it. If you find later you don’t enjoy it, then move on to what you enjoy at that point.

Evolution

Life is the journey of evolution. We don’t just grow through our adolescence, become an adult and that’s it for our personal growth. We continue to learn, grow and evolve. In my 20’s I went from hard partying to buying a house to getting married to becoming a parent. In my 30’s I came out of a severe mental health condition to becoming a parent of 2 children to changing through several jobs and discovering I was still unhappy, to finding what I wanted to do with my life, studying and building a business. In my 40’s I went from building a business, discovering more about myself and the things I needed to change, let go of and refine, to working completely for myself to discovering that life is actually pretty good.

Now at 50, who knows what the next decade will bring. All I know is that it will be different to what it looks like now, where I’m parenting young adults and helping them find out who they are, and looking at the next steps for myself and my husband, as our children launch their lives, with us all as ready as we can be for whatever comes next.

I’m now trained in several therapy and healing modalities. I never saw that coming – in my 20’s and 30’s I honestly did not believe in anything that I do now. At 40 I didn’t know half of what I do now, but at least I was open to it. I could never have predicted where I find myself now – it wasn’t possible for 30 or 40 year old me. I’ve evolved.

What I’ve Learned

The funny thing is, I don’t feel “old”. I don’t feel 50, and it honestly doesn’t seem that I’ve been out of school for over 30 years. Everything feels like 10 years ago. I don’t know what age I really feel, and I feel that is because I am happy with where my life is at.

I love my work. I love Lego and reading and learning. It’s easy for me to do these things. I don’t love lifting weights, but I always feel so much better after, and I can see the benefits and improvements in me. I don’t love shopping and cooking and meal prepping, I don’t hate it, but it doesn’t excite me every single day. I do love not being sick and in pain though. These are the things I do to support my health. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows in enjoying every single second, it is about doing the things that move you in the direction that you want to go.

Every time that you think you understand life and yourself, that’s a sign that it is time to change, to evolve. Change is inevitable, as is aging. Embracing change is the key to growth and evolution. Take opportunities as they present themselves – in recent years I’ve been President of an association, I’ve run events, and proofread a book, all things that I wasn’t looking for, but presented themselves to me.

Your body will age, your mind will age. But the age does not define you. How you live your life defines you. The answers are simple and boring – they’re not some revolutionary pill or drink or regime. The answers are good quality food, sleep, water, exercise, your environment, your thoughts, your self-talk, who you spend your time with, how you spend your time, and how you choose to challenge yourself and grow each day, each year, each decade. The are the things that determine HOW you age.

You get to choose. That’s what I’ve learned.